Monday, December 21, 2009

The Guest

What a revelation. I have struggled, fought, and pushed away the ghost of my children’s father that often enters our home, especially when the children return from their time with him. He is not welcome here, my mind says. I worked too hard to get him out of my life. Why does he continue to show up, again, and again, triggering both myself and my husband? How do I get him out for good? Boy was I blown away this morning when my therapist suggested I give him the best seat in the house. Huh? Are you kidding? The point is that he is here, regardless of how much I push him out. The idea is that if we can welcome him, or rather his energy, all of the effort I put into pushing him away can be recouped. The idea is if I can truly welcome him, find acceptance for what is, and treat him as a guest, then suddenly I go from victim to empowered. Can I do this? I don’t know. Supposedly I have within me the heart of the Buddha. The heart of the Buddha is big enough to hold the whole world, right? So maybe I can do this, but I am not sure about the best seat in the house. I’ll let you know how it goes.

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